Dummies Guide to Mumbai Locals

'How exactly are you supposed to get into an approaching local at rush hour?'

See, I don't mean to sound like a know-it-all or anything. Yeah, I can point out the fact that I was taking the local trains from a western suburb to another decently far one for nearly five years. Mostly during rush hour. Sometimes, upto four trips in a day. And after a two year break, am back to local trains (why I am still traveling the trains is a long story/rant I will tell you someday)...so qualifications, I surely have :D Besides, I know this is exactly the question many of you newcomers want to ask someone and get it done with, except you don't actually ask often.

I should know, I have been asked this question a few times. Very recently today at the lunch table, by a girl from Bathinda. So, I decided to put it down once and for all.

Anyway, what you basically do is wait and watch. Don't start running before the train even enters the platform. That is something only wannabes do :P The steps are:

1. You watch the approaching train with bated breath, figuring out its speed

2. Position yourself at the front, all ready to pounce

3. Shortlist and concentrate on the door you are planning to get into. Ideally, this door should just pass by and stop a few inches in front of you (if it didn't, you got your positioning wrong baby, go back and start all over again :P)

4. Now start moving at the same speed as the train....

5. Focus on the exact spot you want your feet to land on...

6. Most of you think this doesn't even apply in Mumbai locals, but it does. Let the passengers alight first. Otherwise, you will be caught at the receiving end of a charging battalion

7. Jump in! At the exact same moment the last passenger exits. Your feet should touch the ground and your hand should touch the support railings at exactly the same second.

8. Stabilize yourself as this is most likely to be moment the train breaks and actually stops at the station.

8. Tada...you are in :) :) Start pushing inside. Thank the lord. And live to tell the tale :P :P

Another day, another train ride.

P.S.: none of these normal rules apply to the junglee central line :P

P.P.S.: the disclaimer goes - the end result of a pretty busy day and total bheja fried-ness this midnight hour :) try at your own risk.